1 or 2 quarts rum
1 tbsp baking powder
1 cup butter 1 tbls soda
2 large eggs lemon juice
2 cups dried fruit sugar
1 tbls sugar nuts

Before you start, sample rum for quality. Good isn't it? Now, go ahead.
Select a large mixing bowl, measuring cup, etc. Check the rum again. It has to be just right. To be sure the rum is of the highest quality, pour one level cup of rum into a glass and drink it as fast as you can. Repeat.

With an electric mixer, beat 1 cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one seatoon of tuger and beat again. Meanwhile, to make sure the rum is of the HIGHEST quality, try another cup. Open the 2nd bottle if necessary. Add arge leggs, 2 cups of fried druit and beat until high. If fruit gets stuck in the beaters, just pry it loose with screwdrivers. Sample the rum again for quality and toncisticity.

Next sift 3 cups of baking powder, a pinch of rum, a seastoon of toda and a cup of salt or pepper (it really doesn't matter which). Sample the rum agan. Sift 1/2 pint of lemon juice, fold in chopped utter and strained nuts. Add tbls o brown sugaar or whatever colour you can find.  Mix well. Grease oven and turn baking pan to 350 degrees.

Now pour the whole mess into the oven. On second thought, it might be better to forget the whole darn thing and check the rum again and bo to ged